Three Core Principles For A Successful Marriage
This is part one of a three-part series in which we will discuss the three core principles that are required in order to have the marriage that God wants us to have.
The core principles are:
(To) Be, (to) Do and then (to) Have.
In that order.
You have to BEcome the person who can DO the work necessary to HAVE the marriage that God wants you to have. NOT the marriage YOU want, but the marriage that GOD wants.
If you try to have the marriage that you think God wants you to have, before you become the person you need to be in order to have the marriage God wants you to have, you will fail.
If you try to do what you think you need to do, and put your special mojo into the marriage before you become who God wants you to be, to give Him glory, you will fail.
The principle of Be (being/becoming), Do (doing) and have (having), is laid out for us in Genesis 1:28.
Genesis 1:28 says this: “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” ”(NIV).
The first thing God tells humankind to do is to BE FRUITFUL.
What does that mean, and what does it look like in practice?
Well, fruit has seeds inside of themselves so they can produce more fruit.
We also have seeds that God placed inside of us. One of those seeds is the seed of creativity.
The first thing that God told us about himself is that he is creative. We see this in the very first chapter, of the very first book of the Bible, in Genesis 1:1, where it says “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” (NIV).
In Genesis 1:27, the Bible says “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (NIV).
Clearly, we are all creative because we were created in God’s image, and the first thing God told us about Himself that He is creative.
We can use the seed of creativity, which was placed inside of us, by the One who made us, to become the person He wants us to be, so that we can fulfill the mission that He gave us.
And how do we use our creativity to become the person that God wants us to be? By praying and seeking God’s wisdom daily, so that we can align our will with God’s will for our lives.
The Lord will then give us the instructions we need to become who He wants us to be, so that we can create the lives, and the marriages, that He wants for us.
God’s will for our lives is to be sanctified, which is discussed in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 which says, in part, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified” (NIV). 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8 says “For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit” (NIV).
To sanctify something it to set it apart for a specific use; to sanctify a person is to make that person holy.
Those of us that love the Lord were set apart from everyone else. God uses marriage, along with the husband and the wife, who were set apart from everyone else, to bring Him glory.
Many people forget about God’s plan for marriage, though, and mostly focus on what they want to get out of marriage.
They want to make their spouse into the version of the spouse they made up in their heads. They want their marriage to look like a marriage they saw on social media, or in the movies. And, then, they wonder why their marriage is struggling.
Husbands and wives also struggle in their marriage because they are trying to make things happen the way THEY want them to happen, how they want them to happen and when they want them to happen.
But, they forgot to consult God.
Proverbs 3:5 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (NIV).
There will most certainly be seasons of struggle in marriage. The Bible clearly lets us know that we WILL struggle in life, which includes marriage.
In John 16:33, Jesus said “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (NIV).
In order to become the person that God wants you to be, so that you can be the best spouse that God wants you to be, you have to surrender yourself to God’s process of sanctification, so that HIS WILL will be done in your life.
If you try to skip this crucial first step of Be(ing) (becoming), you WILL stumble, and your troubles may last longer than they need to.
Each of us can tap into our God-given creativity to live out the lives that we pray for, so that during the process of sanctification, we can give God ALL the glory.
Each of us is uniquely and wonderfully made in the image of God. We all possess God’s seed of creativity that He placed inside of us.
So as we grow closer to God, and go through the process of sanctification, we can become the unique husband and wife necessary for OUR marriage.
Which is why no two marriages look the same.
We were each given our own special seed of creativity, which is to be used to help us become the person that God has called us to be.
Your spouse was made for you, just as my spouse was made for me.
Next week, we will discuss the second core principle of Do (doing), from a Biblical perspective, which is necessary in order for your marriage to be successful.
Until next time,
Alicia
